s Thoughts from the Physics Chick: Advice to a young man who is dating a future missionary

Saturday, September 16, 2006

Advice to a young man who is dating a future missionary

[With a nod to Eloise Bell]

This is an exciting time of life for you and your future missionary. Sooner than you can imagine, she will be gone to the far reaches of the globe to preach the gospel; she will leave a bright-faced girl, but return a wise woman, ready to be a leader in the Church and in the home. Don't waste these 18 months while she is gone – you can be developing many skills to enhance your masculine qualities. Learn to barbeque. Replace the hinges on all your doors with decorative brass hardware. Take a course in auto detailing so you can add artistic flair to any vehicle you own. It is these little masculine touches that make a house a home.

You can be serving her while she is serving the Lord. You may write to her, but make sure that you are not a distraction from her important work. Keep your letters bright and cheerful, and in the boyish style she has grown to love. Write to her of your little trials and successes; though her work and accomplishments may seem infinitely more important than your own, rest assured that she will still delight to hear of your modest achievements.

Remember that no young man should be the cause of a young woman's unworthiness to serve a mission! It is very difficult for young men to understand how easily tempted a young woman may be by their dress and appearance. Do not wear tight-fitting "muscle" shirts! Do not take your shirt off to mow the lawn, even if the heat index is over 100 degrees! Remember that the prophet has counseled young men to be clean-shaven! (You may think that a little facial hair is not a big deal, but to a young woman with strong desires, a beard is an ever present reminder of your masculinity!)

Et cetera


At September 17, 2006 11:26 AM, Blogger Logan said...

Beautiful, just beautiful.

But also disturbing ...
So, is this based on a specific article/speech? If someone actually said "Keep your letters bright and cheerful, and in the girlish style he has grown to love" ... I mean ...

At September 17, 2006 11:34 AM, Blogger Master Fob said...

Melyngoch will definitely have to read this in her homecoming talk.

At September 17, 2006 5:51 PM, Blogger Daikon said...


At September 17, 2006 9:40 PM, Blogger Melyngoch said...

I have to say, I always appreciated the men at BYU who took the time to shave every day; they had no idea how much difficulty I had controlling my thoughts with those beards reminding me of their ever-present masculinity.

(This may be one of the best things you've ever written, by the way.)

At September 18, 2006 2:35 AM, Blogger Tolkien Boy said...

As a young man who once sent out a missionary, I can say that I failed pretty miserably.

At September 18, 2006 5:37 PM, Blogger The Franchise said...


It's apparently a good thing that I'd still been shaving every day during the time both of us lived in the same state.


I loved it.

At September 18, 2006 5:50 PM, Blogger Th. said...


Why did you stop???

At September 18, 2006 8:02 PM, Blogger Katya said...

Logan - If anything it's inspired by a Eloise Bell's short story which consists of the minutes from a gender-reversed sacrament meeting, but no, I've never heard anyone say to write missionaries in a "girlish style."

Melyngoch - Pretty much. Although I hope you're joking about this being the best thing I've ever written, because I think it's awfully derivative.

Franchise - Thanks!

Th. - I can't tell if that's directed at me or at The Franchise. If it's to me, I stopped because I ran out of ideas. Duh.


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