One summer day, I was talking with a group of people outside, near the SWKT. We were standing near a number of vents and panels in the ground to which I'd never paid much attention. Suddenly, one of the panels opened and out climbed about a dozen of the most gorgeous men I’ve ever seen in my life, wearing sunglasses, camo pants, and tight black T-shirts.
They were members of the Provo SWAT team, taking some sort of tour of the tunnels under BYU campus. (Yes, there really are tunnels under BYU. They are home to the legendary tunnel worms and, apparently, a bunch of really hot guys.) After surveying the area and talking for a bit, they turned around and climbed back down into the tunnel, presumably to continue the tour.
I always thought that there was something vaguely mythical about grown men suddenly springing from the earth and kind of hoped I’d see it happen again, but I never did.
***
Props to bawb for being the only one to say “Um, what are you smoking, Katya?” (I’m not sure if it’s a 1-2-1 or not. Maybe a 1-1-1.)
Morgan puttade till lastbilen för hårt och den for in i ett glas med apelsinjuice.
(Morgan pushed the truck hard and it went into a glass with apple juice.)
“Mamma! Mamma!” ropade Morgan. “Jacksen slog omkull apelsinjuicen!”
(“Mom! Mom!” shouted Morgan. “Jacksen knocked over the apple juice!”)
Mamma torkade bort apelsinjuicen med en handduk.
(Mom wiped away the apple juice with a towel.)
“Bort” is pretty close to “bork,” which reminded me to check my Swedish dictionary to see if “bork” is actually a Swedish word. Alas, it is not. Someone needs to break the news to the Swedish Chef.
The sun shone on the valley. The women stood in groups and talked.
The ground opened and twelve beautiful men emerged, dressed in the colors of the earth, their eyes dark and inscrutable. One of the women turned and stared. The leader of the beautiful men pointed at the land and spoke to the men of the battles they would fight. The men looked at the land and nodded in understanding. The beautiful men turned around and crept back into the earth, followed by their leader.
The woman walked to the place in the ground where they had disappeared and waited for them to reemerge.
Number of diaper emergencies at renaissance festivals: 1
Number of important new people met: 3 (Lindsay, Finruin, and Finruin's grandpa. (Which is not to say that Finruin's brothers aren't also important, but I actually met them last year.))
Number of Swedish Chef clips watched: 5+
Number of windshields replaced: 1 (This wasn't an emergency replacement. It's been cracked for over a year and it turned out to be about $60 cheaper to have it replaced in Nashville than in Urbana.)
Number of bugs in North Carolina which met a splatty, untimely death on brand new, formerly sparkly windshield: 200+
Number of cars named: 1 (Hermes' twin is now named Starbuck.)
Number of military bases tourced: 2
Number of people spotted wearing camo: 0 (Duh. They were wearing camo.)
Number of public libraries visited: 2
Number of home libraries cataloged on LibraryThing: 3
Number of books added to LibraryThing: 381
Number of secret librarian databases consulted in adding books to LibraryThing: 1
Number of lieutenants annoyed that there exist secret librarian databases to which he does not have access: 1
Number of movies watched: 1
Number of R-rated movies watched: No comment
Number of episodes of The Office watched: 1.3
Number of episodes of Psych watched: 3
Number of new states visited: 3 (North Carolina, Virginia, and West Virginia.)
Number of miles driven: 1900+ (32+ hours)
Number of times I thought Melyngoch was going to get us killed: 1
Number of times someone said: "Geeggity. Bork, bork, bork!": about once every 15 minutes (and not nearly often enough)
You know how sometimes you visit people and you have a great time, but in the back of your mind you also realize that it's going to be a while before you see them again, so you're a little bit sad the whole time, too?
1. Convocations are so much shorter when you don't have to deal with pesky undergraduate degrees (even if they do give highly involved special awards to about twenty people, first).
2. There actually are convocation speakers with interesting and useful advice.
3. I really miss playing the organ. My next ward or branch definitely needs to meet in a regular meetinghouse.
4. Nobody knows how to wear a mortarboard properly or how to measure their head accurately. (The two may be related.)
5. I don't get a yellow tassel, but I did get a yellow hood.
6. The Main Library is a beautiful building.
7. The Smith Memorial Building is even more beautiful.
8. I don't really want to be a leader in the field or a crusader for justice; I just want a job.
9. Very few people can say my name correctly if they haven't been coached.
10. Melyngoch has excellent taste in graduation gifts.
My next-door neighbor is a very attractive Swedish guy who won't give me the time of day. (Figuratively.) Maybe he's shy or maybe he just doesn't think I'm worth giving the time of day to. Either way, he's no good to me. But I can certainly appreciate Swedish, um, culture from afar. (Mmm, Swedish.)
Along those lines, I have decided that Melyngoch needs to go to Sweden and convert a hot orange Swedish guy for me to marry.
