s Thoughts from the Physics Chick: 160+

Wednesday, October 19, 2005

160+

This morning was not a good morning. I measured myself, and I’m over 160. I have NEVER been so high. I was hoping that it was a mistake. I even measured myself again. But there’s no doubt.

I keep telling myself that it doesn’t matter. That some day I’ll find a boy who likes me for who I am on the inside. But then I see all of the little 100s and 90s walking around in their skanky Abercrombie outfits with some hot guy on their arm, and I know that I can’t compete.

I’ve tried, heaven knows. I’ve tried to read less and work out more and I might dye my hair blonde(r) and go shopping at Abercrombie and see if I can pass myself off as someone who’s a little less . . . you know. But I know they’ll see through it, and I know it’s a turn off. (Which is so ironic, because there’s so much more of me to love!)

But at night, when I’m sitting alone at my computer, working on an entity-relationship database model. I know I’m destined to be alone.

No one wants to date a girl with such a high IQ.

12 Comments:

At October 19, 2005 9:12 PM, Blogger Sarah Conner said...

Greetings from New Zealand ;)
Well done, interesting blog! - keep up the good work.

Sarah

 
At October 20, 2005 3:46 PM, Blogger erin said...

Oh dear, no worries. You'll find him. If you're too smart, I'm too intimidating...

I like you. :)

 
At October 20, 2005 5:59 PM, Blogger guru said...

Dye your hair blonde. Now, why would someone with a high IQ do that. Just kidding.

For some reason I can never find high IQ women on campus. And the fact that my major is heavily male dominated (at least at BYU) does'nt help.

Do you know any outgoing high IQ women at BYU?

 
At October 20, 2005 10:23 PM, Blogger Katya said...

gradschoolguru - There are a ton in linguistics. I promise. (And probably ELang.) Actually, the major is really cool -- it's split almost 50/50 between the sexes, which thing is rare in the Humanities.

And, um, just to be clear, my IQ is not really 160.

 
At October 25, 2005 2:45 PM, Blogger JB said...

I've always thought that if a guy didn't want a girl/woman because her IQ is too high, then he's a loser and there are better guys out there. If it weren't for my boyfriend now, I may have given up on that one. And then, there are a few guys on blue-beta that seem very interested in dating a smart woman. They (guys who are smart enough for you and appreciate your IQ) do exist! They're just hard to find.... :(

 
At October 28, 2005 11:31 AM, Blogger Saule Cogneur said...

Most guys can't handle someone smarter than them because we base our sense of self on our ability to be superior. If the even the girls have you beat, you’re not much of a man (or self-centered prepubescent wannabe as the ladies seem to prefer these days). I'm not sure I could ever date a girl who could beat me in arm wrestling, so I have to be careful how critical I get. It’s not that “guys don’t like smart girls.” It’s that “average guys don’t want above average girls.” If you want an average guy, I think you’re screwed. For what it’s worth, many of my dude friends have come to the conclusion that BYU just isn’t the place for us because most of the girls are still in fantasy land. I’ve always felt like intelligence trumps such things, but you don’t see it very often. Not only are these girls not interested in us, we sincerely want nothing to do with them either. Once you’ve been down a few of life’s darker roads, going back feels like returning to middle school.

 
At October 28, 2005 10:51 PM, Blogger Katya said...

SC - Actually, I think that the smarter guys are more insecure about dating smart girls than some of the more average guys. It's like the smart guys define themselves even more by being smart, so it's even more emasculating to come across a smarter girl . . .

 
At October 29, 2005 12:38 AM, Blogger Saule Cogneur said...

That's a good point. Some smart guys ARE indeed insecure and get defensive in battles of intellectual prowess. However, I believe there's a higher tier that have outgrown that phase. They're happy just to have an enlightening conversation. They've got better things to worry about than deciding who's got the biggest gun. But again, you're right. The larger portion of the "smart" guys probably fit your description.

 
At October 29, 2005 7:48 PM, Blogger Katya said...

I don't mean to say that all smart guys are necessarily insecure, just that there's a certain subset of the population that equates their IQ with their masculinity, and I think the problem is especially bad in the hard sciences & mathematics.

Most of the guys I know who don't have that problem (in the sciences and elsewhere) either had tough/smart/strong mothers or mellow/easygoing fathers or both.

 
At October 29, 2005 8:01 PM, Blogger Saule Cogneur said...

I agree.

 
At November 02, 2005 10:52 PM, Blogger guru said...

i thought I would join in on the talk between S.C and you.

I wonder if the "smart" guys are just intimidated by the fact, there is someone else who is "smarter". I mean, not necessarily in the way of "insecure" feelings, but not willing to compromise sometimes, and not willing to admit defeat in intellectual conversations with the women.

That was pretty strong guess on the person's parent's personality. Although it is some very true.

Why can't smart guys and gals just get together and become one "smart" couple!!!!
Just my dream....

 
At November 06, 2005 10:05 PM, Blogger Katya said...

In my observation, most smart guys find a way to associate with other smart guys or with smarter guys. It seems like every homework group or group of friends has its own intellectual pecking order. First you try to figure it out on your own, then you go to your smart friend, then you go to your really smart friend, then you go to your TA or the prof, etc. I think most smart guys, unless they are insanely egotistical or insecure, can deal with the fact that there are other, smarter guys in the world.

However, I have also observed that guys and smart guys don't really know what to do with smart girls. I have had guys (a) straight up ignore me, even when I could help, (b) become very hostile if it turned out that I could solve a problem they could not, (c) work with me, but not see me as a "girl" (i.e., not dating material) or (d) never talk to me again after I helped them with homework or something. I only knew one guy who seemed to be able to balance my being a girl with my being a smart person who usually knew how to do the homework.

I don't mean to oversimplify "guy culture" or to be patronizing, but my observations lead me to believe that there the sphere of relationships between guys and girls and the sphere of friendships or acquaintanceships between guys are quite separate, and that there are certain things that work in one but don't work in the other.

I guess it is a pretty big generalization to say that the only men who can deal with smart women are the ones who have had strong mothers. Here is my reasoning: if it is the cultural norm for the guy to be (or at least think) he is the smart one in the relationship, then guys who buck that trend must have some reason or model to buck the trend, such as growing up with parents whose relationship showed him another way to be.

 

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