An Open Letter to the DMV
Dear Maine DMV,
When I went to trade in my Illinois license this morning, the woman who processed my information decided, without consulting me, that my hair was BRN. While I have many close, personal friends with BRN hair, I have always considered my hair BLD and am not really psychologically ready to make the switch to BRNette. I can see how my hair could reasonably be judged light BRN, but it was very BLD when I was younger. (Also, my hair streaks in the sun, which is characteristic of BLDes but not of BRNettes.) In fact, it is entirely natural for BLD hair to darken as one ages; pretty much every woman with hair significantly lighter than mine has an artifical color (with the exception of towheads). This means that if my hair is to be considered BRN, you've basically created an entirely artificial hair color category. [One wonders, though, what the DMV does with regard to folks who have, say, purple hair. Does a "PPL" code exist?]
I am, however, willing to forgive this oversight, as well as the fact that said DMV employee tried to surreptitiously add an extra random letter at the end of my name, not to mention the fact that I unexpectedly had to go to a completely different office in another town to get my Maine license plates, in addition to the fact that this DMV was the absolutely worst signed DMV I have ever seen in my life. (Seriously. I knew I was on the right street and I thought I was just not seeing it. Turns out that I needed to turn off the main road into a mall parking lot, then sneak back around to the loading dock of a grocery store, then drive a few more hundred feet, then finally see the sign for the DMV. Yeah. I was really going to find that without stopping to ask for directions.)
The reason I am willing to be so magnanimous is that my Illinois drivers' license picture was pretty much the worst picture I have ever had, due to a mistimed camera flash, a bad hair day, and an otherwise stressful visit. You, on the other hand, gave me ample warning for the flash, took two (2) pictures and then let me pick which one I liked better. There is hope for humanity, yet.