s Thoughts from the Physics Chick: An Open Letter to the DMV

Friday, March 21, 2008

An Open Letter to the DMV

Dear Maine DMV,

When I went to trade in my Illinois license this morning, the woman who processed my information decided, without consulting me, that my hair was BRN. While I have many close, personal friends with BRN hair, I have always considered my hair BLD and am not really psychologically ready to make the switch to BRNette. I can see how my hair could reasonably be judged light BRN, but it was very BLD when I was younger. (Also, my hair streaks in the sun, which is characteristic of BLDes but not of BRNettes.) In fact, it is entirely natural for BLD hair to darken as one ages; pretty much every woman with hair significantly lighter than mine has an artifical color (with the exception of towheads). This means that if my hair is to be considered BRN, you've basically created an entirely artificial hair color category. [One wonders, though, what the DMV does with regard to folks who have, say, purple hair. Does a "PPL" code exist?]

I am, however, willing to forgive this oversight, as well as the fact that said DMV employee tried to surreptitiously add an extra random letter at the end of my name, not to mention the fact that I unexpectedly had to go to a completely different office in another town to get my Maine license plates, in addition to the fact that this DMV was the absolutely worst signed DMV I have ever seen in my life. (Seriously. I knew I was on the right street and I thought I was just not seeing it. Turns out that I needed to turn off the main road into a mall parking lot, then sneak back around to the loading dock of a grocery store, then drive a few more hundred feet, then finally see the sign for the DMV. Yeah. I was really going to find that without stopping to ask for directions.)

The reason I am willing to be so magnanimous is that my Illinois drivers' license picture was pretty much the worst picture I have ever had, due to a mistimed camera flash, a bad hair day, and an otherwise stressful visit. You, on the other hand, gave me ample warning for the flash, took two (2) pictures and then let me pick which one I liked better. There is hope for humanity, yet.

Sincerely,

"Katya"

6 Comments:

At March 22, 2008 2:08 AM, Blogger Mr. Fob said...

Thank you. I have always considered myself BLD (assuming you mean blond and not bald) and it is disorienting for me when people ask how I got such BLD children. I think it's to be blamed on the popularity of bleaching. Curse those unnaturally BLD people!

 
At March 24, 2008 10:52 AM, Blogger Confuzzled said...

This made me smile. Especially because people are always trying to tell me my hair is darker than it is. A few people have recently decided it's black. And while I'm certainly not towheaded by any means, my hair is NOT black . . .

 
At March 24, 2008 7:17 PM, Blogger bawb said...

I absolutely agree--until someone asserts that *my* hair is black, it's staying BLD.

 
At March 26, 2008 1:35 AM, Blogger Trevor said...

I've always considered myself blond, but in the last few years mob rule has moved me to dirty blond/brown.

It seems like dreads are always that color anyway.

 
At March 27, 2008 6:07 PM, Blogger The Dancing Newt said...

You are totally BLD, Katya.

 
At April 01, 2008 2:05 PM, Blogger Emily said...

Just move to southern California. You'll never have that problem again. AND they let you take multiple pictures.

I put that my hair was BRN and they changed it to BLD for me.

 

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